▌Asked someone to marry you ? – “No. Quite frankly I still find the entire process baffling. Did you know there are some places where a woman will change her surname to match her husband’s? Imagine.”
▌Kissed one of your friends ? – “Guilty, I suppose.”
▌Danced on a table in a bar or tavern ? – ”I do not understand why anyone would do this.”
▌Ever told a lie ? – “Guilty.”
▌Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have ? – “I…um. Guilty, I suppose.”
▌Ever kissed someone of the opposite sex ? – “No, not really.”
▌Ever kissed someone of the same sex ? – “…guilty?”
▌Kissed a picture ? – “This is a very strange question.”
▌Slept in until 5pm ? – "I am nocturnal.”
▌Fallen asleep at work or school ? – "Fallen asleep WHILE working, yes…I never attended school.”
▌Held a snake ? – “Of course I’ve held a snake. Hasn’t everyone grabbed hold of a stray viper from time to time? No?”
▌Been suspended from school ? – “Innocent, in that I never attended school…”
▌Worked at a fast food chain/restaurant ? – “I worked, um…within a tavern, but was not employed by the establishment directly, no.”
▌Stolen something ? – “Guilty.”
▌Been fired from a job ? – “Innocent.”
▌Done something you regret ? – ”…Guilty.”
▌Laughed until something you were drinking came out of your nose ? – “Innocent, also that sounds very unpleasant.”
▌Caught a snowflake on your tongue ? – ”This seems like a great deal of effort for very little reward.”
▌Kissed in the rain ? – “Not that I can recall.”
▌Sat on a roof top ? – “Guilty It’s really quite peaceful up on our roof.”
▌Kissed someone you shouldn’t ? – "Perhaps by some accounts, but so far the consequences have not been dire.”
▌Sang in the shower ? – "Innocent. I don’t really sing.”
▌Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on ? – "Guilty, presuming other bodies of water are counted.”
▌Shaved your head ? – “Innocent.”
▌Slept naked ? – “A handful of times.”
▌Had a boxing membership ? – “…I am not certain of the meaning of this. Have I ever attended a martial spectacle or participated myself? No, I have not.”
▌Made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry ? – “…if this has been the case, I was not informed.”
▌Been in a band ? – “Innocent. Of both the brigand and musical kinds.”
▌Shot a gun ? – “Innocent.”
▌Donated blood ? – “…define ‘donate’, if you will, please.”
▌Eaten alligator meat ? – “Guilty. I’m not fond of it. Besides, they are not an efficient source of meat, and tended to be only brought back by grand-standing hunters.”
▌Eaten cheesecake ? – "Guilty…too rich for me. Felt sick afterwards.”
▌Still loved someone you shouldn’t ? – “Innocent.”
▌Have/had a tattoo ? – “Innocent, for the nonce.”
▌Liked someone, but will never tell who ? – “Guilty.”
▌Been too honest ? – “Guilty.”
▌Ruined a surprise ? – "Not to my knowledge!”
▌Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you can’t walk after ? – “Innocent.”
▌Ceased to speak to a friend ? – ”Guilty…”
▌Dressed in a man’s clothes ? – “Yes. Of course!”
▌Dressed in a woman’s clothes ? – “…I mean, there are few enough men among the Moonkeepers themselves, and even fewer in Gridania proper, and sometimes one is required to pass through an area unremarked upon and thus must minimize or downplay one’s more notable traits. Do you follow?”
▌Joined a pageant ? – “Ah…no.”
▌Been told that you’re beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said ? – “…yes.”
▌Still have communication with your ex ? – "My ex…what?”
▌Cheated on someone ? – ”…I received a lifetime ban from the Gold Saucer for counting cards, if that is what you mean.”
▌Got totally drunk while having an important exam the next day ? – “…no.”
▌A total stranger treated you by paying your teleport ? – “Guilty, I’m afraid.”
▌Got so angry that you cried ? – ”…guilty.”
▌Tried to stay away from someone for their own good ? – “Guilty.”
▌Thought about suicide ? – "Guilty.”
▌Thought about murder ? – “…Guilty.”
▌Actually murdered someone ? – “…well…ah…actually, I mean, not personally but there are likely individuals who would argue that I was responsible at least in part for some regrettable, ah–um…look, we can come back to this one once we’ve clarified the underlying philosophical nuances…”
▌Thought about mass murder ? – “…g…guilty…”
▌Actually committed a mass murder ? – “These questions are becoming rather specific. Innocent.”
▌Rode in a stranger’s chocobo? – “Guilty.”
▌Stalked someone ? – “Innocent.”
▌Had a girlfriend ? – “There are several women whom I would consider my–Oh. OH. Innocent.”
▌Had a boyfriend ? – “I presume this is the same terminology as the preceding question? Guilty.”
▌Gotten totally drunk during a holiday ? – "Not for a holiday, per se.”
Tagged by: @shoshopu
Tagging: @saerdha, @sedatayuun, @deybouchard, @faerie-apples, idk whoever wants to i hate tagging people its stressful lol
black-omen-born 